Children and the Death of a Pet

The loss of a pet can be a devastating experience for everyone in the family. But for young children, it can be especially painful and difficult to understand and process, because they are still unfamiliar with the concept of death. All they know is that the beloved pet who was their best friend is no longer around and they're going to look to you for answers as to why. To them, death is a sudden upheaval in their lives and sooner or later this simple fact of life is going to need to be explained. There are a few things to consider when this challenging situation finally arises.

First; because they are going to have questions, be prepared to answer them. Listen carefully and respond matter of factly, but delicately. But be sure to keep the answers concise and to the point. Your child is already trying to process this shocking incident in their head, try to give them information that is easily understood and digested. The answers will likely lead to more questions, so patience is paramount. Work with your child until they're able to grasp what's happened and let them take as much as time as they need.

Second, you want to tell them the truth. Our first instinct is to try to shield children, especially young ones, from the blatant facts of difficult situations such as this, but it's best to refrain from trying to protect them. Telling your child their pet has "gone away" or "lives someplace else" can be confusing instead of informative. It's best to explain that their pet has died and they are no longer here. Be ready to repeat yourself to them as they will have many questions about death and its permanence.

Finally, help your child remember and honor their pet's memory. Have them talk about their deceased pet, look at photos of times they spent with their pet and have them draw pictures or write down their favorite memories. It will help them to understand that death is permanent but it doesn't need to keep them from moving forward with life. They may say that they will never forget their deceased pet and you can encourage them to keep that positive approach. And after some time, maybe it will be appropriate to consider getting another animal in the home. Not to replace the pet they lost, but to meet and love a new best friend.